Dreamin' Like Crazy
by WordsmithGrl
Summary: A "Scarecrow&Mrs. King" & "Remember WENN" crossover w/ a little bit of "Who's the Boss?", "Will&Grace", "Cagney&Lacey", a little bit of this & that, and LOTS of inspiration from my friends. *NOTE* THIS IS A DREAM-LIKE STORY! ANYTHING CAN & WILL HAPPEN JUS


Dreamin' Like Crazy  
  
By A. B. M.  
  
Disclaimer: Too many of these characters are not mine. "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" belongs to Shoot the   
Moon Productions and Warner Brothers. "Remember WENN" and its characters belong to Rupert Holmes   
and (yuck) AMC. All characters making cameo appearances from major sitcoms/movies belong to somebody   
else! No enfringement intended. Believe me, I'm not making any money off of this story or any other story!   
This is just good ole fashion fun! As for the story, it's mine. So are the orginal characters (Mr. Roman   
Varsovie and Bob). But Ashley IS ME! And thanks to all my friends, who are crazy enough to hang out   
with me ~ Lisa, Rita, Susan, and Dream Guy (who doesn't know about this, SO DO NOT TELL HIM!   
SHHH!!) Thanks, "Aunt Amanda", for my gift in rambling! Ok .. that's it! ENJOY!   
  
All of a sudden, Ashley found herself in the middle of an enormous conference room. She   
did not recognize anyone, but then she noticed a vaguely familiar face – make that two faces.  
The woman wore a white, sequined blouse with black dress slacks. She approached Ashley   
with opened arms. "Ashley!" Ashley stiffened when she realized Amanda King was not only   
hugging her but knew her as well. "I'm so glad you made it!"  
  
Ashley looked at her own attire. It had changed from jeans and a shirt to a long, royal blue   
formal and her locket around her neck. Surprised, she looked at Amanda for answers, but the   
other recognizable face finally made it through the crowd. Wide-eyed and bewildered, Ashley  
questioned her sanity out loud, "Lee Stetson?"  
  
Lee answered her question with a half sigh, half chuckle, "You'll have to excuse Amanda,   
Ashley. She seems to have forgotten about her mission."  
  
"Mission?" Amanda and Ashley asked simultaneously.  
  
Lee rolled his eyes. "Yes, Amanda, mission. The reason we are here?" Lee questioned her   
memory.   
  
"WHERE are we?" Ashley was finally able to speak. "And WHAT are we doing here?"  
  
Lee's charming smile faded when her recognized a newcomer to the party, "Oh no."  
  
"What?" Ashley figured if Lee said "oh no" something bad was about to happen.  
  
"Nothing" his delightful smile began to return. "Um, Amanda," he held her by the shoulders,   
"can you fill in Ashley?"  
  
"Yeah, I got it, Lee." Amanda and Ashley watched Lee approach the strange man (who bore a  
striking resemblance to Rollie Pruitt from WENN). Amanda abruptly turned around. "Well," she   
sighed and smiled; "Gosh, it's good to see you again." Ashley looked off to   
the side trying to recall when she last saw Amanda. NEVER – only on television! Yep, she had   
finally lost it. She had finally fallen into her dream world, but it was too weird.  
  
Ashley faintly smiled and dared to ask one more question "So, what's this about a mission?"  
  
"From what I understand, we – Lee, you and I – are here to retrieve vital information from Mr.   
Roman Varsovie. If we don't get this information, the U. S. might be in the midst of a nuclear   
war!" *DA DA DUMMMMMMM* Ashley looked at the symphony orchestra. Surely, they didn't   
play that intense tune. Or did they? *DA DA DUMMMMMMM* She looked up and around.   
There it was again! But Amanda did not seem to notice.  
  
Mrs. King (or was she Mrs. Stetson?) pulled Ashley out of the way of a tangoing couple   
charging their way. "Hey, wasn't that…"  
  
Before Ashley could finish her question, the blonde, dancing lady laughed, "Ah ha! Tony! Oh   
goodness!" Her partner dipped her and quickly returned her to an upright position.  
  
"Sorry, Angela, I just get carried away" the man flashed a dashing smile. Another turn and   
they were headed toward the other side of the room.  
  
Ashley had the stupidest look on her face. She was trying to tell herself that it was all a dream.  
She did not know these people. They weren't people – not real people. They were fictional   
characters. "No, no, no, no, no" she began banging her head with her fist trying to regain   
sanity.  
  
"Ashley, are you okay?" she looked to see who the new voice belonged to.  
  
"Lisa, what are you doing here?" Ashley asked. Then she began to think *How do I know this   
is Lisa? I don't even know what she looks like! At least she is a real person. *  
  
Lisa laughed "I'm here for the same reason you're here."  
  
"And that would be…?" Ashley was very serious. She wanted to know what she was doing   
here (wherever she was) and why she was meeting all these people.  
  
"To see Lee Stetson, of course."  
  
There had to be another reason. Ashley tried to receive a different answer. "You mean, Bruce   
Boxleitner. Don't you?"  
Lisa looked at her friend curiously, "No, I mean, Lee Stetson. Who's Bruce Boxleitner?" *DA DA   
DUMMMMMMMMMM*  
  
Ashley decided that she would seriously hurt the person playing that tune – that is – if she   
could find him. But wait, Lisa said that she did not know Bruce Boxleitner! "You are Lisa from   
online? Jax?"  
  
Lisa laughed out loud "Silly!"  
  
She was not helping Ashley at all "Well, do you know about the mission?"  
  
"What mission?" After Lisa asked the question, she walked away to talk to some gorgeous   
hunk of man at the candlelit table in the dark corner.  
  
*That's odd. She didn't even let me explain* Ashley turned around to see if she recognized   
anyone else. "AH!" but Lee was standing right in front of her.  
  
"So?" he asked.  
  
"So?" Ashley wondered what he wanted to know. She was the one without any answers.  
  
"Did Amanda fill you in? Are you ready for your assignment?" He began to usher her around   
the room.   
  
"I think I am." She questioned where that came from. It came from her! *Oh no! Why did I say   
that? * But she continued, "You will introduce me to Mr. Varsovie, and I will act prim and   
proper as always." *Where is all of this information coming from? * she thought to herself,   
*Oh, you think too much. Just go with it. * "I'm to gain his trust and hopefully information.   
Right?"   
  
"Right" Lee smiled "You have an amazing memory. Almost as good as Amanda's. Any   
questions?"   
"Do I have a cover?" Ashley could get use to this spy business.   
  
"As a matter of a fact," Lee began as he took two champagne flutes from a tray passing by   
and handed one to Ashley, "you do. You are an upcoming star, the starlet of IFF."   
Ashley unconsciously took a sip from the flute, but she choked at the taste of Perrier and the   
unexpected cover "A star?!"   
"A starlet" Lee corrected.   
  
"But IFF is strictly documentaries, I thought. What are they doing with a 'starlet'?"   
  
"Let's just say that they are expanding their field." His smile grew wider; "It was my idea."   
  
"Of course." One more question was on Ashley's mind, "So what's your and Amanda's cover?"   
  
"I'm the director."   
  
"As always" Ashley said sarcastically and stomached one more sip of Perrier.  
  
And with an equally sarcastic laugh, Lee responded "Amanda did teach you everything she   
knows. As for her cover, she will be your aunt and guardian."   
  
Ashley was satisfied. At least two protective spies with very protective roles would be   
surrounding her.   
  
"But I should warn you…"   
  
Ashley interrupted in panic "A Warning? Lee, are you sure I should be on this assignment?"   
  
"Well," he averted his eyes, "I don't know if I like the idea, but Amanda seems to think you   
are ideal. And you know Billy, he's a sucker for innocence."   
  
She took a deep breath, "Okay. So what's the warning?"   
  
"Mr. Roman Varsovie is popularly known as a womanizer, and he usually gets what he wants."  
Lee noticed Ashley was already feeling extremely uncomfortable. He took her glass and   
placed it on the grand piano that magically appeared. He offered his arm, and she nervously   
took it. "Ashley, there's nothing to worry about. Amanda and I will be with you almost every   
step of the way. Trust me."   
  
"Oh. The dreaded 'trust me' of Lee Stetson" she muttered under breath. Without fail, "trust me"  
meant "danger ahead" in Amanda King's case. Ashley had watched enough "Scarecrow and   
Mrs. King" episodes to know better, but she was going along with it anyway. Slightly louder,   
Ashley concluded, "So that's why Amanda isn't 'the star of IFF'."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I'm the so-called 'bait' tonight because you would be jealous of Varsovie if Amanda was in   
my place – especially if she fell for one of his lines" Ashley replied smartly.   
  
"Well," Lee did not want to admit that Ashley was right, but she was not completely fair;   
"You just take your own advice, young lady. Don't you fall for any of his lines, or I will be very   
disappointed that I misjudged your intelligence."   
  
Ashley jokingly saluted Lee.   
  
"And you aren't 'bait' as you call it. If anything happened to you, I'd have Amanda and Billy   
on my back, and no master spy could handle that."   
  
Ashley giggled at the thought of Amanda aggravating Lee throughout this entire mission.   
Apparently, Amanda had trained Ashley for the Agency. That explained many of the earlier   
events of the evening. Ashley just wondered how she got into this mess. *Oh, be optimistic*   
she told herself, *I wonder how I became a part of this intrigue. Yes, that sounds better. *   
  
At that time, Amanda reappeared, "It's getting late. Are we ready?"   
  
Lee straightened his bow tie, "No time like the present."   
  
Ashley took one more deep breath, "As ready as I'll ever be."   
  
"Oh, sweetheart," Amanda gave her student another hug. "Be careful. And just keep your   
mind on that nice, young man of yours" Amanda pointed to Ashley's locket.   
  
Ashley furrowed her brow "Young man? Amanda, you know that I don't have a boyfriend."   
  
"Don't tell me the two of you broke up" Amanda's face saddened.   
  
"Who?"   
  
Amanda opened the locket that hung around Ashley's neck. "And he was so handsome too.   
I thought you two would make the perfect couple." There was a picture of Dream Guy in   
Ashley's locket.   
  
Ashley was shocked! "How did that get in there?"   
  
"What happened? Did he find out that you worked for the Agency?" Amanda was full of   
concern. She was ready to stand up for all of Ashley's rights and his wrongs.   
  
"No! No, nothing like that. I'm just confused tonight. That's all." Ashley noticed she must have   
picked up Amanda's nervous habit of babbling. Even a bigger shock – she was dating Dream   
Guy! "Well," Ashley closed the locket; "As Lee said, 'There's no time like the present'." And   
with that, she took on a new determination.   
  
"Ladies" Lee escorted "aunt and niece" to meet a "promising sponsor" of IFF. On their way,   
they passed the dark corner Lisa and her hunk occupied. Ashley could not get a good look at   
the guy, so she just stopped and decided to visit - probably much to Lisa's disappointment.   
  
"Hey, Lisa!" Ashley greeted her friend cheerfully. "Are you going to introduce me to your   
friend?"   
  
Lisa blushed at Ashley's connotation, "Um, of course. Ashley, this is Michael Hammond.   
Michael, this is my friend Ashley McCall."   
  
Michael and Ashley shook hands. Almost immediately, Ashley pulled Lisa over to the corner,   
"Ja-ax, he looks like JFK, Jr." Lisa smiled and blushed again. Both women turned around, but   
Michael was not there.   
  
"We're going to the beach" Lisa seemed to answer Ashley's thought. "He has a house on the   
shore. He says that it is very secluded. We should be back before this party dies, but don't   
wait up." Lisa took her sweater and paced toward the exit humming "Under the Boardwalk".   
  
Ashley had to catch up to Lee and Amanda. She could see them in the distance. It looked as   
if they were talking to Chow Yun Fat, so she decided to walk a little faster.   
  
The moment Ashley stepped next to Lee, he introduced her, "And Mr. Varsovie, this is my   
newest discovery, Ashley McCall."   
  
Mr. Varsovie took Ashley's hand, slightly bowed, and kissed it "The pleasure is all mine."   
  
Mentally, Ashley could see her jaw drop. *Boy, I understand now why he gets what he   
wants. *   
  
Within an instant, Lee and Amanda were no where to be found, and Ashley and Mr. Varsovie   
were sitting at the table Lisa and Michael had left vacant. The entire room seemed cloudy,   
and the party has died down somewhat. Only half of the orchestra remained. Ashley guessed  
that it was about midnight if not later. Although Mr. Varsovie was very charming, he had the   
personality of a doorknob.   
  
"Mr. Varsovie," Ashley began but was interrupted when Mr. Varsovie placed his hand over   
hers.  
  
"Please, call me Roman. My friends call me Rome."   
  
Ashley faked a smile "Roman."   
  
Once more she was stopped "What's the matter? Aren't you my friend?"   
  
"Of course, Rome." Ashley uncomfortably shifted in her seat as she watched Roman   
Varsovie sit back in satisfaction. She only wished that Amanda or Lee were in view. She knew  
this was her duty – her patriotic duty – to save her country, but she would have felt better if   
she did not have to be alone with this slime. Lee had not taught her to "hit" as of yet.  
  
Grinning and bearing it, Ashley allowed him to think he had her where he wanted her. "So,   
Rome, what are you doing here in the U. S.? That is, besides supporting my first film" she   
giggled. Ashley was ready to gag at her own actions.   
  
"My partner and I are buying this club. We hope to make a cabaret-like setting. It will remain  
elite – only opened to the rich, the famous, politicians, and whatnot. And stars like you, my   
dear." He began caressing her hand and kissed it once more.  
  
She lightly cleared her throat "Your partner? Is he here tonight?"  
  
Rome continued to hold her hand as he took a quick glance around the room "Well, he was   
here. His name is Michael Hammond."  
  
"Michael Hammond?" Ashley was shocked. Her friend, Lisa, had left with him hours ago.   
  
"Yes. Do you know him?"   
  
"Oh, um" she nervously giggled again "Well, the name just sounds familiar. It's possible that   
I met him tonight. So many people were here, I just can't remember." And she sealed it with a  
smile. "So you're a man of politics?"   
  
"Hmmm?" Rome seemed to awaken from a daze.   
  
"You said that the club would be opened to the famous, such as politicians? Do you know   
many?"   
  
He playfully changed the subject "You are certainly full of questions tonight."   
  
Ashley leaned forward "I'm interested in every aspect of the business."   
  
"I bet you are." Rome raised her palm to his lips; then, he kissed her wrist.   
  
At that moment, Ashley saw Lee appear from behind a corner. She threw him a look of   
distress. Lee quickly moved toward the table like a protective older brother, but he regained   
his professional manner before he approached Mr. Varsovie.   
  
"Mr. Varsovie!" He greeted his "sponsor" cheerfully. "You won't believe this! I've been given   
the opportunity to show off my new star! You can see her at her best tonight!" Lee practically   
plucked Ashley from her seat "Come on, hon. Sing a song for your new friend."   
  
As soon as they were far from the table, Ashley retrieved her arm. "Hon?"   
  
"Well, I have to keep up my appearance" he was flipping through a stack of sheet music.   
  
"And a song? Lee, I can't sing!"  
  
"Shhh." He only looked up to hand the music to the pianist. "Do you have any information   
yet?" He leered at the slimy Varsovie still sitting at his table defeated.   
  
She leaned back against the piano. "Well, he and his partner, Michael Hammond" she   
emphasized "are buying this club. They want to make it elite, opened to the famous, like the   
rich, stars, and politicians."   
  
For the first time in the conversation Lee looked at Ashley "Politicians, huh? Did he give you   
any names?"   
  
"No. He changed the subject." Lee shifted in restlessness. "And about that Michael Hammond."  
  
"Yeah," Lee regained interest.   
  
"An old friend of mine, Lisa Adair, left with him hours ago! And I'm worried about her, Lee.   
They went to his house on a very secluded beach. I have no idea where it is located." She   
took a deep breath and whined "Lee, isn't that enough information?"   
  
"It's a good lead, Ashley" he gave her a pat on the back; "but it's not enough information. As   
for your friend, I'll try to find her for you. You have no idea where his house is?"   
  
"No, but Varsovie did say something about setting up his office. There might be some info in   
there."   
  
"Good, good. I'll check that out."   
  
The orchestra was finishing its piece, and Ashley would be next. "So does this mean I'm still   
assigned to the slime ball?"   
  
Lee took one step off stage and turned around "Yes, you are. But I'll have Amanda meet you   
at the stage after your number, and she will be with you the rest of the night. Just remember,   
she's your 'Aunt Amanda'."   
  
With a smug smile, Ashley asked, "So have you and 'Aunt Amanda' been smooching behind   
that corner all night?"   
  
Lee gave her the evil eye.   
  
"Well," Ashley continued, "It's the only explanation I could come up with for the lipstick on your  
collar."   
  
Lee covered the left side of his collar and smiled sheepishly. When he got to the bottom of   
the stage, Ashley called to him again.   
  
"Just one more question?"   
  
"Yes?" he was perturbed.   
  
  
"What song am I singing?" she asked in a loud whisper.   
  
"Come Rain or Come Shine" A look of revenge flashed through his eyes, "And sell it!"   
  
Ashley was dumbfounded and disappointed. She had to sing that song to Varsovie. She   
mumbled "I also know Weird Al's 'I'm Fat', but you couldn't pick that. Could you?" She took the   
microphone off the stand and nodded to the pianist to begin. Suddenly, she was dressed in   
an elegant, black dress that accented each and every curve as she lounged on the grand   
piano. Her auburn hair was curled and rested on her left shoulder. She rolled her eyes and   
began to sing "I'm gonna love you like nobody's loves you come rain or come shine. High as   
a mountain and deep as a river come rain or come shine. I guess when ya met me it was just   
one of those things. But don't ever bet me cause I'm gonna be true if you let me. Let me.   
You're gonna love me like nobody's loved me come rain or come shine. Happy together,   
unhappy together and won't it be fine. Days may be cloudy or sunny. We're in or we're out   
of the money. But I'm with you always; I'm with you rain or shi-i-i-ine. Rain or shine."   
  
Lee rummaged through every drawer in Varsovie's office. Being in the dark did not help much   
either. He opened the left bottom drawer of the massive oak desk. Lee took out all of the   
contents and sorted through them. He felt around the bottom of the drawer. Something   
just struck him as odd. He knocked on the lower surface. It sounded hollow. It was a false   
bottom. Underneath was a thick file nestled in the darkness – out of sight to any priers.   
"This could be useful" Lee hid the file under his dinner jacket. He continued to search for any   
information on Varsovie's partner.   
  
He turned around to look through the file cabinets behind him. The first drawer would not   
open. Neither would the second drawer. When the third drawer would not open, Lee   
repetitively tried to shake it open. He aimlessly looked for the key when a file box caught   
his eye. He crouched in the corner and lifted the lid.   
"Easy enough." One of the files was labeled "Personal Finances". Every invoice was   
addressed to a Mr. Michael Hammond. There it was. Everything he needed to know   
about the house: where it was located, how big it was, even how much Hammond   
owed on it.   
  
"Not so fast!" A booming voice warned. Lee froze only for a second; then, he reached for his   
gun. "I don't think so, Mr. Stetson. Slowly place the gun on the floor and turn around."   
  
Lee followed instructions completely "Well, well. Mr. Pruitt, the last I heard, you were   
imprisoned as a Nazi saboteur. I suppose I can safely assume that you are a KGB agent now.   
Am I right?" Lee continued to raise his hands in surrender.   
  
"Keen observation, Mr. Stetson. Now," the heavy man waved his pistol "give me the files."  
  
Lee tossed the files on the desk and curtly grabbed a letter opener. He lunged toward his   
enemy but failed to make contact when Pruitt shot him in the shoulder. Lee grabbed his   
wound and fell against the wall. Before he knew it, Pruitt was standing in front of him with   
the barrel of the gun resting between his eyes. Lee closed his eyes tight as he heard Pruitt   
cock the gun. He winced in anticipation of pain and perhaps death. Then a gun went off.   
  
Lee's eyes flashed open in time to see Pruitt's face and blood protruding from his shoulder   
"Not another pure Sumatrian silk suit."   
  
Lee caught Pruitt's slumping body and looked up to find his savior. "Sherwood?" he was so   
stunned that he dropped the body "What are you doing here?"   
  
"Saving your life apparently." The dashing Scott Sherwood in his sparkling white dinner   
jacket reached down to check Pruitt's pulse. "Come on, Scarecrow, help me get him in this   
chair.   
  
Amanda met Ashley at the bottom of the stage. "Wow" Amanda hugged her "niece" "Two   
encores! I didn't know you could sing!"   
  
"Neither did I," Ashley chuckled. They made their way back to Varsovie's table were stopped   
by the same couple that had charged toward them during the tango earlier that evening.   
  
"Amanda? Amanda West?" the lady inquired.   
Amanda stepped back in joyous surprise "Angela Robinson?!"   
  
The estatic women embraced. Ashley and Tony stood back trying to decipher which "oh"s   
and "nice to see you"s belonged to which woman. When the old friends separated, Angela   
asked, "What have you been doing all these years?"   
  
"Ay oh. Oh ay." Tony interrupted. "What's goin' on here? Angela, aren't you gonna introduce   
us?"   
  
"Oh, Tony." Angela put her hand to her head in forgetfulness. "Tony, this is an old college   
friend, Amanda West. And, Amanda, this is my fiancé, Tony Micelli."   
  
As they shook hands, Amanda corrected "Amanda King."   
  
Angela realized her mistake "Oh, forgive me, Amanda. So, where's your husband?"   
  
"Hmm?" Amanda was confused. "Oh! You mean Joe?" She looked down and began with her   
fluid actions. "No, I mean. We're divorced."   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry."   
  
"No, no. Don't be sorry. Life's wonderful" Amanda was trying to ease her friend's discomfort.   
"Oh! Let me introduce you to Ashley McCall. She's my, uh," Seeing her old friend had surprised   
Amanda so.   
  
"Her niece" Ashley interjected. She shook hands with Angela and Tony, "Nice to meet you."  
  
~*~  
  
Sherwood pulled the rope taut and tied a difficult knot securing his nemesis Pruitt to the   
office chair. He stood up straight with a confused look on his face "De ja vu!"   
  
Before Scott could put any more thought into it, Lee asked, "How did you know I was here?"   
He gave the swivel chair Pruitt was tied to a good push.   
  
Scott watched the chair go around and around. "I didn't." As the spinning slowed down, he   
gave it another push; "I was following Pruitt. He's been acting strange – even for him."   
  
"Hmm." Lee looked at Pruitt's unconscious body. He pushed the stationary chair around, not   
once, but twice. "I wonder what he wanted in Varsovie's office."   
  
Scott gave the chair a final push as the shaft of light from under the door grew. Lee quickly   
retrieved his gun and was ready to aim at the unexpected.   
  
"Scott Sherwood!" The voice was perturbed.   
  
Scott shielded his eyes from the bright light. He tried to make out the petite silhouette,   
"Rita?"   
  
She moved into the darkness, "You were suppose to meet me at your car five minutes ago!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Rita. Things took longer with Pruitt than expected."  
  
With crossed arms, Rita observed the disheveled office and the comatose Rollie Pruitt.   
"Well, I'll forgive you this time."   
  
Scott sighed heavily in disappointment, but the sad puppy face was not working on Rita.   
She just rolled her eyes.   
  
"C'mon, Sherwood." Lee grabbed the mysterious file and Hammond's files. "I think Mr.   
Hammond knows more than Varsovie."   
  
Rita and Scott both looked on quizzically "What makes you say that?"  
  
Lee opened the file he found in Varsovie's desk and revealed Michael Hammond's signature   
on release forms for masses of unknown material to Russia.   
  
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Scott asked. Both men quickly moved toward the door.  
  
"Hey!" Rita was sprinting after them in her Betty outfit. "What about me?"   
  
Lee looked in disbelief. He did not need a tag-a-long.  
  
Scott looked at him seriously "We better let her go, Scarecrow. Rita's a tough broad."   
  
Rita gasped in disgust. Lee nodded forward, instructing her to follow.   
  
As they disappeared down the hall, Rita called out, "The correct term is young lady,   
Sherwood! Young lady!"   
  
~*~  
  
A modernly decorated living room – simple yet cozy – was illuminated only by the warm,   
amber glow coming from the fireplace. The muffled voices of two people were the only   
sounds heard above the crackling of the burning wood. Then there was a clinking of   
champagne glasses and an abrupt "Achoo!"   
  
"Bless you" a man chuckled.   
  
Michael Hammond and Lisa Adair were wrapped up in terry cloth robes, towels, and quilts.   
Lisa's hair was drenched.   
  
"Thank you" Lisa dabbed her nose with a tissue. "Thank you for everything – dinner, the   
moonlight stroll, this cold."   
  
Michael laughed heartily "Well, you shouldn't have tripped and resisted my life saving   
assistance."   
  
"Michael it was less than two feet of water," Lisa was laughing now "I could have stood up   
by myself. And it would have saved both of us from being drenched!"   
  
Michael's face formed into an uncomfortable grimace "ACHOO!"   
  
They fell into each other's arms with uncontrollable laughter. Lisa looked deep into his eyes.   
In the few hours they had spent together, Lisa had noticed Michael's entire personality   
soften.   
  
She ran her fingers through his soft, brown hair; then, they kissed.   
  
~*~  
  
"The Cards?!" Ashley exclaimed as Tony tried to act modest "Oh, Philip and Jamie will love to   
hear about this! Won't they Aunt Amanda?"   
  
"Oh, yes, they will."   
  
Ashley suddenly remembered Varsovie and looked over to the corner he had solemnly   
occupied alone for over fifteen minutes. She excused herself from the conversation. The last   
thing she needed was for Varsovie to get antsy and uncooperative.   
  
As she made her way to the table, Ashley saw Pruitt and another unidentified man approach   
Varsovie. She raised a suspicious eye and began to walk slower. The men were fluidly   
explaining something to Varsovie, but Ashley was out of hearing range and could not hear a   
single word. Suddenly, Pruitt left through the main entrance, and the mysterious man   
disappeared into the crowd. Before she knew it, Varsovie was directly by her side.   
  
"It's about time for that dance you promised me" he took Ashley in his arms and began   
dancing without her consent.   
  
"My aunt just bumped into an old friend of hers" Ashley tried to explain "I'm sorry it took so   
long, Rome." She had to get back on his good side. She still had to get a lot of information   
from him. The plot had only thickened now that Pruitt was involved.   
  
Varsovie replied coldly "Your aunt will soon be in our company."   
  
"Oh?"   
  
"Yes" he tightened his grip around Ashley's waist "if she knows what is good for the both of   
you." Ashley tried to force herself out of his hold. "I wouldn't try that if I were you, darling."   
Varsovie danced their way to the door where Ashley's back met the barrel of Pruitt's pistol.   
They escaped the club unnoticed by anyone.   
  
The enigmatic man approached Amanda from behind. With a kind tap on the shoulder, he   
introduced himself, "Mrs. King? I am an employee of Mr. Roman Varsovie. He would like for   
you to join him and your niece for drinks on the Veranda."   
  
"Oh. Okay. I'll be there in a few moments." She turned back to her friend to end an amusing   
story about her mother and dismiss herself, but she was interrupted by a gun shoved into her   
back.   
  
In a weasel-like voice, the man insisted "Mr. Varsovie is very anxious to discuss your niece's   
future with you."   
  
Amanda's entire persona stiffened, but she remained calm. "Oh, I, um, I understand. Angela,   
Tony, I hope to see you again." She was practically being dragged away.   
  
"You can count on it!" Angela called to her.   
  
Amanda smiled warily and her voice cracked "I hope."   
  
~*~  
  
The front door of Hammond's magnificent house was kicked down startling the occupants.   
  
"Hey!" Michael jumped up from the floor in anger. "What's going on here?!" Amanda and   
Ashley were being forced into the house when he saw Varsovie. "Rome, was it necessary to   
kick down my door?"   
  
Each step Varsovie took resounded with power. He completely took notice of his surroundings   
being cautious of the suspicious. Slowly, he pivoted on his right floor and sauntered over to   
Hammond, "Michael, ol' boy, we've been waiting for you to answer the door for over a   
minute." Varsovie roughly patted Michael's face.   
  
The weasel man, known as Bob (Amanda was able to coax a name out of him), flipped on   
the light switch while Pruitt blew out a candle in the hallway.   
  
"I do hope we did not interrupt something important," Varsovie said sarcastically as he   
studied his reflection in a mirror. "We ran into a couple of problems at the club."   
  
"Oh really?" Michael leaned in the doorway of the living room.   
  
Varsovie looked over Michael's shoulder and continued "Yes, Mrs. King, Ms. McCall, and some   
of their friends thought they would try to change our plans." And that was when Varsovie   
noticed Lisa.   
  
In a split second, Ashley, Amanda, and Lisa were tied together and sitting in the middle of   
Mr. Hammond's living room. Ashley leaned back in disgust, "Why is it always the women that   
are kidnapped? Do we ever hear about Lee Stetson taken hostage? Nooooooooo. Just his   
faithful partners. Honestly, Amanda, something's going to have to change."   
  
Amanda agreed with a smirk and a nod. Then she sighed, "But you know, Ashley, Lee always   
saves the day."   
  
Ashley rolled her eyes, "I know. I know!" She mocked in an announcer's voice "Lee Stetson,   
Agent Scarecrow, always saves the day! … But, Amanda, you have to admit, Lee isn't as   
young as he use to be. And his timing is off."   
  
"What makes you say that?"   
  
Ashley squirmed in discomfort, "Because I'm losing the circulation in my arms."   
  
~*~  
  
Back at the club, the most gorgeous hunk in the universe walked through the doors. He was   
dressed in a white dinner jacket, a black bow tie, and black slacks. He looked as if he had   
walked out of the movie "Casablanca", but he was taller than Bogie.   
  
Suddenly, the club turned into Rick's Café Americana, and everything was in shades of black   
and white. Sam, the pianist, was shocked to see this man. He was not supposed to be at the   
café. As soon as he finished playing "As Time Goes By", Sam approached him.   
  
"Guy, what are you doing here?!"   
  
"Hey, Sam," his smile was broad and full of life. "What am I doing here? What are you doing   
here?" He nudged Sam in the side "Moonlighting?"   
  
"Guy, you shouldn't be here." Sam was worried. His eyes scanned the room nervously. "You   
have to get out of here." He began physically pushing Guy through the entrance.   
  
"Whoa, Sam. Sam!" Guy looked behind trying to talk to his colleague. "What's going on   
here? I came to meet Ashley. Her sister said she should be here."   
  
Sam tried to avoid eye contact. Fret flooded Guy's face. "Sam, you know something. Is it   
about Ashley?" His calm tone soon disappeared as he grabbed the pianist by the shoulders,   
"Sam, tell me!"   
  
Sam unwillingly whispered "Ashley works for the Agency, Guy."   
  
He released his grip, "What?"   
  
"Ashley has been working for the Agency for 2 years now. We tried to keep it a secret. We   
did not know how it would effect your work."   
  
All emotion left Guy. "Does she know about me?" he asked solemnly.   
  
"She has no idea."   
  
"Where is she?"   
  
Sam looked over at Varsovie's table. Frantically, he looked at the dance floor. Come to think   
of it, he had not seen Ashley, Lee, or Amanda for a good hour. Sam looked back into Guy's   
impatient eyes.   
  
"Well…"   
  
"They aren't here" Sam's eyes were full of fear.   
  
"What do you mean they aren't here?!" Guy was getting anxious.   
  
"Ashley was on assignment with Lee Stetson and Amanda King. I don't see them anywhere! I   
don't know how… when… where they could have gone. Someone had to have seen them   
leave!"   
  
Guy rushed through the door in determination. He looked as if he knew where he was   
going. He had to find Ashley. And that was exactly what he was going to do.   
  
~*~  
  
Rita climbed out of the backseat of Lee Stetson's silver Corvette, and ran to catch up with the   
two spies. "Well, we finally made it. No thanks to you, Scott."   
  
And the typical male answered, "I was sure we were suppose to turn left at the second light."  
  
"Lee, why couldn't you stop and ask for directions?"   
  
The excuses began to flow, "Sherwood said that he knew where he was going. Anyway, I   
don't stop and ask for directions. We made it here, didn't we?"   
  
Rita rolled her eyes; then, she noticed the limousine parked next to a red convertible. "Uh oh.   
Guys, while we were out joy riding, someone beat us here."   
"Hammond?" Sherwood whispered.   
  
Lee shook his head. "No. I've seen that limo before. Varsovie."   
  
Lee took out his pistol and instructed Scott to cover the back of the house. As Scott retrieved   
his gun from the holster hidden by his dinner jacket, Rita grabbed his arm and followed close   
behind.   
  
Lee watched them make their way behind the house. When they disappeared around a   
corner, he proceeded to the front door. Every step was a careful one. He sensed someone   
following him. Lee cautiously turned around but saw no one, so he continued toward the   
front door.   
  
He stepped over the unhinged door and slid around the corner, passed a stairwell. Just   
beyond the foyer, a deep voice called "Robert?!"   
  
"Pruitt!" Lee seethed. He ducked back and hid in the hall closet. He could hear someone   
bounding down the stairs.   
  
"Yeah, Rollie, what is it?"   
  
Lee waited in the darkness until the voices faded away. As he cracked open the door, he   
peered out. When he was sure the close was clear, he slowly exited the closet.   
  
~*~  
  
Michael Hammond approached the bound Lisa Adair. Lisa would not look at him. "Lisa,   
please listen to me!"   
  
She snapped her head the other way.   
  
His face began to turn red. "Lisa!" He looked around in fear he would draw attention to   
himself. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper "Lisa! You have to believe me! I don't   
have the slightest idea of what's going on here!"   
  
She spoke angrily "Well, untie me! This is your house for crying out loud!"   
  
He looked at Lisa with saddened and confused eyes "I can't."   
  
To the left, Ashley was staring at the ceiling singing a repetitious, annoying song – so   
annoying even she was mumbling in a perturbed tone. "I am slowly going crazy – 1, 2, 3, 4,   
5, 6 Switch! Crazy going slowly am I – 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Switch!"   
  
Amanda leaned back "I guess this is as good a time as any."   
  
Ashley looked at her role model "Hmm?"   
  
Amanda sighed and tried to make eye contact. "Well, you know how I've been looking for   
my long, lost sister that Mother gave up for adoption. At the time, Mother was so young and   
confused especially after her young Russian doctor of a beau was killed in a freak airplane   
accident."  
  
As Amanda took a deep breath, Ashley got a word in edgewise, "What was so freaky about   
it?"   
  
"He wasn't on the plane. He was collecting rare materials he could only find in some   
Arlington countryside." They stared at each other - just for dramatic purposes. "Anyway! I found   
my long, lost sister! Just as I was leaving the Agency for this assignment, I received all the   
information about her and her family. I haven't been able to tell anyone!"   
  
"Amanda, that is wonderful! I sure hope we get out of this predicament so you can get in   
touch with her."   
  
Amanda's voice cracked with emotion, "Well, Ashley, just in case we don't…"   
  
Ashley stopped her "Amanda, don't say that. You know we'll make it."   
  
Amanda nodded her head "I know, but if we don't … I have to tell you. You need to know,   
I really am your aunt." She took a moment to let it all sink in. "Your mother is my sister."  
Once again they stared at each other – one wondering about her sister and the   
other wondering about Dotty's torrid love affair with a young Russian doctor that happened   
to be in Arlington who happened to be her mother's birth father, her grandfather.   
Small world.  
  
Ashley's nerves were already on end. She was on a top priority assignment that wasn't going   
very well, she just found out she was Amanda King's niece, and now the weasley man, Bob,   
returned.   
  
"Hey, Varsovie!" he snatched a struggling weight from behind him. "Look what I found   
snooping around here."   
  
Amanda gasped as she caught a glimpse of the prier's face "Lee!" Her voice lost strength,   
as hope seemed to fade away.   
  
"Well, well, well, Mr. Stetson, I would have expected you sooner. Although fashionably late,   
Mr. Stetson, you are just in time. Why don't you have a seat? Get off your feet." Lee   
continued to struggle to get away until Roman Varsovie took his majestic cane (that seemed   
to appear out of the blue) and with one strong blow, knocked Lee off his feet.   
  
Scott Sherwood swung through the opened window "Hold it!"   
  
Rita followed climbing over a flower box. "Yeah!" She took one step in front of Scott "Freeze,   
busters!"   
  
"Scotty watty do do da!" The voice was coming from behind.   
  
Scott slowly turned around to see his old boss, "Rollie Pruitt."   
  
"Long time no see. Still hiding behind the ladies? Hmm?" Rita took Scott's arm defensively.  
  
Varsovie pulled out a pistol, "Seeing as you and your colleagues have stumbled upon my   
little plan to destroy Washington, D. C. and several other major cities of the U S of A, we must   
destroy all of you first. But there is one more problem…"   
  
Lee spat "What?"   
  
"Which one of you to start with. Perhaps your starlet, Mr. Stetson?" Varsovie pressed the   
barrel of the gun against the temple of Ashley's head. She squinted and gulped not knowing   
what would happen.   
Varsovie chuckled pleasured by the power he held in his hand. He moved closer to Amanda.   
"Or maybe…" he caressed her chin with the pistol.   
  
Suddenly, there was a crash from above. Glass flew everywhere. Something or someone was   
flying through the shower of shattered glass. Heads ducked and arms were flung across   
faces trying to protect and shield from harm.   
  
Ashley buried her face in her lap. It was not easy to do bound to two of her closest friends.   
Everything seemed so surreal. Time was passing so slowly. The only sound she could hear   
was glass falling causing quaint echoes of each broken, tinkling piece. But then there was a   
sudden thud. Cautiously, Ashley peered up. She gasped. She could not believe what she was   
seeing. It was Dream Guy.   
  
Lee scrambled to his feet and grabbed the pistol Varsovie dropped during the commotion.   
Guy snatched Varsovie's cane and hit him across the abdomen. Varsovie doubled over and   
fell to his knees. Pruitt's face met Sherwood's elbow while Rita used a vase to ornate Bob's   
head.   
  
Michael rushed to the aid of the damsels in distress. Naturally, he began untying Lisa first. As   
he helped Lisa to her feet, Michael saw Pruitt slyly removed a small gun from inside his jacket.   
Pruitt took aim as Michael began to run toward the possible victim.   
  
"NO!" Michael tackled Guy to the floor. The bullet missed them, but that did not stop Rollie   
Pruitt.   
  
He did not seem to care in what direction he was shooting. One shot, then there was two.   
Three, four, and a fatal number five.   
  
As soon as the bullet entered Rita's shoulder, she fell to the floor.   
  
As Rollie prepared to shoot again, Amanda was able to trip him. The bigger they are the   
harder they fall. How true!   
  
Scott Sherwood rushed to Rita's side and lifted her head. Faintly, Rita looked up in   
bewilderment and confusion "Scott?"   
  
"Rita, everything's going to be ok," he tried to reassure her. He turned to the gunman and   
reprimanded him through gritted teeth, "Everything BETTER be ok! Or so help me God..." He   
would not let his anger get the best of him. Not now, not when Rita needed him. He returned   
his attention to her.   
  
He lifted her from the blood soaked carpet and held her close as if trying to keep her soul   
from escaping. Scott gently placed her on the sofa.   
  
Slowly, Rita opened her eyes and noticed her arms were around Scott. With every bit of   
strength she had, Rita sat upright and kissed Scott passionately.   
  
"Rita!" Scott was not sure if he was surprised more by Rita's consciousness or by the kiss.   
"What? Why? Are you O. K.? Maybe you should just sit back. You were just seriously   
wounded."   
  
"Oh, this?" She pointed to her injury "it's just a shoulder wound."   
  
~*~  
  
As the three evil, mean, sinister, bad men sat on the floor tied together, Amanda pointed   
out that they should think about what they had done and to remember that crime does   
not pay. Ashley just hoped they began losing circulation in their arms.   
  
Ashley turned around at the gentle tap on her shoulder. "Hello, Guy." She could feel color   
rushing to her cheeks and the enormous smile covering her face that always appeared when   
he was around.   
  
But Guy was not smiling "We need to talk."   
  
"O. K."   
  
He led Ashley away from all of the ado. Looking down trying to collect his thoughts, Guy   
finally broke the rising tension, "Why?" But there were so many more questions in that one   
word – in his eyes.   
  
Sorrowfully, Ashley answered with another question "Who can really answer 'Why'?"   
  
"You don't know WHY you got involved with this business!" Guy's brow furrowed in anger.   
  
Ashley could get angry too. "No, I don't! I don't know why! I don't even know how! What   
about you, Guy? Shattering windows didn't seem new to you. Have something to tell me?"   
  
He was caught. "Um, well," baffled that his own question had turned on him, he retorted,  
"This in not about me! This is about you!"   
  
As Ashley crossed her arms and gave Guy the evil eye, Amanda approached the feuding   
couple cautiously. "Everything O. K. over here?"   
  
"Hey, Guy" Lee greeted. The men shook hands; "Good work as usual."   
  
Amanda and Ashley looked at each other quizzically. At the same time, they questioned   
Lee, "As usual?"   
  
Ricky Ricardo passed by, "Leeeeee, you have some 'splaining to do!" And he left.   
  
"Yeah, Lee," Amanda was now crossing her arms, "'Splain!"   
  
"Um, well, I," Lee laughed nervously, "You'll laugh when you hear this." Ashley and Amanda   
nodded and smiled the "I hope so" smile.   
  
"Ahem, I trained Guy several years ago."   
  
Amanda gave him a quick shove "And you didn't tell us!"   
  
Lee jokingly threw up his hands in surrender "Hey, how was I suppose to know this is the   
guy, Guy, you two have been talking about!"   
  
"How many guy's do you know named Guy that look like this?" Amanda pointed an   
incriminating finger. "You know how worried Ashley was about him finding out she worked   
for 'The Agency'!"   
  
Guy and Ashley stayed out of this little quarrel between their older counterparts, "It was a   
'need-to-know' situation only. Anyway, I didn't want Guy to get mixed up in a partnership."   
  
Amanda took his arm and led Lee away "What's that suppose to mean?" Lee began laughing   
uncontrollably.   
Guy was trying to stifle his chuckle. Ashley looked straight into his eyes "There was nothing   
funny about that."   
  
"Yes, there was."   
  
"No, there wasn't."   
  
Guy slipped his arms around her waist and smiled charmingly "Yes, there was."   
  
Ashley looked off trying to avoid the effects of that smile, but it was irresistible "O. K., so   
maybe it was slightly funny."   
  
An annoying, constant beeping continued to near the embracing pair. The closer it got,   
the faster it beeped.   
  
…beep…beep…beepbeep…beepbeepbeep….beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep   
beepbeepbeepbeep…   
  
"Groovy, it works!"   
  
Ashley quickly stepped back from Guy at the sight of her slightly older sister. "Susan, what   
are you doing here?"   
  
Susan silenced the vexatious beeping with the simple turn of a knob and placed the   
contraption in her pocket. "Looking for you."   
  
"How did you find me?"   
"I always keep a tracking system on you. An older sister has to know where her baby sister is   
at all times. So, have you seen my truth serum?"   
  
"Is that all you came here for?"   
  
Susan smiled sweetly and nodded.   
  
"It's in your sock drawer, left corner, balled up in your old pom-pom socks. PINK pom-poms.   
But here." Ashley removed a small vessel from her purse and tossed it to her sister, "Take   
mine."   
  
Out of nowhere, a flouncing, hysterical male ran passed them. "Oh my God! Where's Liza?!   
Don't worry, Liza, I'm here to save you!"   
  
Ashley covered her face in tenseness "You brought Jack McFarland with you?"   
  
Susan shrugged "Not exactly." She watched the animate Jack running from room to room   
"Jack, what are you talking about?!"   
Jack stopped dead in his tracks and approached Susan as calmly as he could. "You said we   
were going to save Ashley and Liza from the bad guys."   
  
Susan smiled uneasily and turned to her sister "Oh, and I keep you bugged as well."   
  
"Now let's get crackin', missy!" He clapped his hand as if he had just announced a royal   
command.   
  
"No, Jack. I said that we were going to save Ashley and LISA with a 's' - not Liza 'with a "z"'   
Minelli."   
  
Jack's jaw almost fell to the floor. "Hmph!" He shook his fist in the air "Deceitful!" and   
sashayed over to Ashley. "Well, I'm glad to see that you're okay. Kiss, kiss."   
  
"Lord love a duck!" The hallway was getting crowded as Karen Walker stepped over a large   
piece of glass. "Honey, what's with this? What's going on? What's happening?" She and   
Jack shrugged and shook their head and somehow found their way to the wet bar.   
  
~*~  
  
Shortly following those strange and unbelievable events, a NYPD patrol car and an unmarked   
car were parked outside Hammond's house.   
  
"Hey, Mary Beth!" a scruff voice called from across the house "Need any help with those   
two?"   
  
"Nah, Chris, I got 'em!" Mary Beth Lacey guided Bob and Pruitt to the patrol car. The   
handcuffed Pruitt hit his head on the car as he tried to sit down. "Oh, Mr. Pruitt, I forgot to tell   
ya. Watch your head."   
  
Christine Cagney followed shortly behind with the slime ball Roman Varsovie. He was   
obviously trying to cut a deal with or maybe propositioning Chris. She smiled "Oh, so we   
have a sweet talker here." She quickly changed her disposition and shoved him into the car   
with his accomplices. "I think you'll get along fine in prison." And with that, she slammed the   
car door in his face.   
  
Mary Beth was standing by the unmarked car waiting for her partner. As Chris walked to the   
driver's side, she waved at Ashley "You and Susan still on for 'Girl's Night Out'?"   
  
"Yeah. We'll see you Friday night." As Susan appeared next to her sister, Ashley seemed to   
have an epiphany. "OH! Susan, did you know Amanda King is our biological aunt?!"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"Yeah?" Ashley's parade was rained upon. "How'd you know?"   
  
Guy approached the man that saved his life "I'm sorry, Mr. Hammond, we're going to have to take you in."   
  
"Why? What did I do?" Lisa cleaved to Michael's side.   
  
Guy showed Michael the file Lee had confiscated from Varsovie's office. "For buying   
unauthorized nuclear material to assist in destruction of this great country of ours, sir!"   
(Hey, Susan, I know this line is really corny. But I just HAD to put it in there! )   
  
Michael studied the papers carefully "This is my name, but this isn't my signature. See."   
He took a pen and signed a piece of paper.   
  
Guy, being specialized in handwriting analysis, knew right away that Michael was telling the   
truth. "Lee!"   
  
Within seconds, Lee Stetson was chasing the patrol car that occupied the three bad guys.   
  
Lee slung his car around (as he so famously does) to stop the police car. He jumped out of   
his corvette and ran up to the policeman that was wondering "What the heck is that maniac   
doing?"   
  
"I need to talk to Varsovie. NOW!"   
  
~*~  
  
Lee slammed Varsovie against the patrol car "What do you mean you don't know where this   
stuff is? You bought it. You planned the whole scheme! Now where is the detonator?"   
  
Roman Varsovie remained cool and collected as the antenna bounced repeatedly off his   
head. "Mr. Stetson, although I am very skilled in my line of work, there is another mastermind   
behind this plan."   
  
"Spill it!"   
  
~*~  
  
Everyone looked up from the game of "Uno" as Lee Stetson rushed back into Michael   
Hammond's home "We have to get to Pittsburgh!"   
  
  
Amanda stood up and walked towards him "What's in Pittsburgh?"   
  
"Varsovie has a partner there at a small radio station, W-E-N-N, ready to pull the plug on this   
country! We don't have long, and we need all the help we can get." The entire group stood   
up in patriotism (well, some in insanity). For once, Lee Stetson was glad to see so many   
volunteers "Wonderful! I have a younger cousin in Pittsburgh. He should be able to help us   
get this over with faster!"   
  
Susan leaned over and whispered to Ashley "Have you ever seen Lee's cousin?"   
  
"No. Why?"   
  
A sly grin covered Susan's face "Oh, nothing. I was just thinking. If he's related to Lee,   
he can't look too bad."   
  
A bright, blinding light filled the room ready to transport this unlikely crew to places no man   
has ever gone before! *DA DA DUMMMMM* Oops…wrong story!   
  
Ashley called out of the light "Cliff! Turn down that music!"   
  
The light grew stronger as Karen pointed out "Honey, do you know how many fallacies and   
misnomers are in this story?"   
  
"Brace yourself, Kare Bear, you've never been to W-E-N-N before!"   
  
And then there were none … segue to the sequel "Dream A Little Dream"! 


End file.
